Today was my stay-at-home day which really means it was my do-the-school-runs-go to Gymboree-buy groceries-collect the kids-cook dinner- bring the kids to swimming- eat dinner-wash up-day. Even though the boys were in school for much of the day they managed to ask more questions than I can ever remember them asking before. If I say I don’t know they think I’m thick, but look what I’m faced with on an average day, with most of these questions coming from a five-year-old.
The diverse topics include theology, astrophysics and menu planning. God features heavily today for some reason. Other days it could be all about Paw Patrol. There were obviously many more questions I can’t remember and the usual location-based “where’s my?”. To save space “can I have something to eat?” only appears once- it was asked many, many more times than that.
Here’s a slice of my day, with these questions all popping up in a two-and-a-half hour window. Also, if you’re trying to recreate the scene, you’ll need to say “Mam” at last once before each question.
- Isn’t infinity the biggest number?
- How many numbers would googel need stuck to it to be bigger than infinity?
- What’s the biggest Christmas tree in the world?
- Why do farmers have electric fences?
- What does a person look like if they are electrocuted?
- How tall is a skyscraper?
- How many houses tall is that?
- Is our house tall?
- How tall can a house be?
- How does God give the mammy the seed of the baby to get in the mammy’s tummy? (At the school gates!!)
- Does everyone get wings in heaven?
- Do you get your old body or your new body in heaven?
- Can people get sick in heaven?
- Are there builders in heaven?
- Do they build things or does God?
- Do birds mind when poo touches them?
- Not even robins?
- How does Santa talk to robins?
- Are there robins in heaven?
- Does Santa know God?
- How many people are in my school?
- How many is a hundred?
- Is that a lot?
- Is it more than infinity?
- What was the first thing you ever baked?
- Was it all by yourself?
- What age were you?
- What age was your mammy then?
- Do you have to have children to be a granny?
- Can you be mean to the president or do you get in a lot of trouble?
- What about the Taoiseach?
- When we we meet the president again ?
- Can I have something to eat?
- Don’t you have anything else?
- Where do Gardai live?
- What do they eat for lunch?
- Where do Gardai eat their lunch?
- How tall is the tallest person?
- Could you drive an aeroplane all around the world?
- What about a rocket?
- Do rockets have two petrol tanks?
- Where do you buy rocket fuel?
- What age do I have to be to go to space?
- Do dogs go to heaven?
- Can a dog bite through a door?
- Will she ever be taller than me?
- What do bears eat?
- Do they like berries?
- If a bear saw you would it eat you?
- What language do you speak in heaven?
- Does God know all the languages?
- What does heaven look like?
- What day is it?
- What’s for dinner?
- Where’s my other swimming togs?
- Did you know that you can spell disc with a “c” or a “k”?
- Is there hurling tomorrow?
- Is there school tomorrow?
- What’s that green stuff?
- Why do people say beans make you fart?
- Do animals get sick?
- Do animals get sick in heaven?
- Are there doctors in heaven?
- When you add numbers do they always make bigger ones?
- Will the questions ever end?*
*this was the only question I asked
If anyone can help with the answers please fill me in!
