Slime, it’s been the big hit of 2017 really hasn’t it? The sticky hit.
We’ve caught the bug and have been working our way through Slime Recipes with help from our good friend Dr How from Science Wows Ultimate Slime Guide .
Not content with sticky, disgusting, slimey slime the kids wanted more. Goddamit YouTube with your bad influence from American clean-cut teenagers and their “food challenges”. Note to self: Hide the AppleTV Remote.
“I want to make EAT-ABLE slime, like on YooChoop”
“It’s EDD-IBLE you dufus”
“PLLLLLEASSSSE We could bring it to school for treat day”
How to make friends and incur the wrath of the school’s cleaners in one easy step.
I researched. Condensed milk was suggested and the recipe looked most straightforward so I bought it.
It was met with utter disdain,
“No, we want the one with gummy bears”
“RIGHT. Ye ungrateful feckers. I’ll just have to make Key Lime pie FOR THE GROWNUPS with it so”
I googled some more and bought 3 packets of bear-shaped jellies in Lidl on my way home.
The moment I collected them they remembered. I confirmed acquisition of of the gummy bears and was met with delight.
Edible slime is the stickiest, yuckiest stuff I have ever had in my kitchen. It’s the stickiest and yummiest stuff that the kids have ever made. They ADORED it. Hot water dissolves it so the clean up isn’t as bad as you’d think.
How do I make it?
You’ll need 600g gummi bears- no, you don’t use them all but I bought 3 200g packs in Lidl. You need that many to get 1 cup of gummi bears that are all the same colour. Eat the rest yourself while you cry into the sticky utensils.
1 measuring cup of gummi bears
2 tablespoons cornflour
2 tablespoons icing sugar
Put the gummi bears in a bowl and put it in the microwave on high for 30 seconds. Take it out and stir well, then put in for 10 second intervals until all the bears are completely melted.
Fight your children off from dipping their fingers in molten melted gummi bears.
Gradually stir in the cornflour and icing sugar alternately stirring well.
Then let the children roll it into balls, eat it and make your whole kitchen sticky.
Enjoy the adulation of your offspring.
Wash all the stickiness off with very hot water and vow to never let them watch YouTube again.